Sunday, May 3, 2009

A Post-Cho Dose of Levity

Alan in Florida sent me some mostly more than decent one-liners - so I thought I'd spread the word(s) - well, the best ones - and give them a gay spin:

1. When I was born I was given a choice - a big dick or a big brain. I don't remember which I chose.

Impotence is Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings'.

3. There are two words your boyfriend/partner doesn't want to hear - 'Don't' and 'Stop'. Unless you put them together.

4. There are generally three stages in a gay guy's sex life:
  • Tri-weekly
  • Try Weekly
  • Try weakly
5. Virginity has a cure.

6. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.

7. An Australian kiss is like a French one - but down under. (TRUE! Is there another kind?!)

8. Why do gay guys find it hard to make eye contact? Cos crotches don't have eyes.

The totally unrelated header photo of Chris Russell was obviously just an attempt to get your attention!

In case you were in any doubt, it is not an image of Alan or I - though you might want to disagree?


  1. hey juicer

    as i was saying some are not half bad - and a laugh seem to go pretty well with porn!

  2. Ahh, Australia. The land of the Outback and the rarely spoken of "Upfront. There can be found wierd birds and animals. Pigeons that bear live young and are breast fed. The males penises are harvested and are then regenerated, just like a lobster regrows a lost claw. These birds are raised in 7,000 acre ranches, herded by pigeonboys mounted on ostrichback. They are rounded up anually and branded, and their penises are removed and sent to packers to be processed into the delicious Australian "Pickelled Pigeon Peckers", a treat that can only be equalled by roasted witchitty grubs. Please give us more tales of the "Upfront".

  3. Love all that body hair. The jokes weren't half bad either.

  4. hey ken

    yes it's a competition of attention!

    chris russell does have one of those woolly hunky bods that really get me going!

    was the post just an excuse to post him? LOL

  5. hey anon

    yes, it's a pretty great and curious and less than conservative place - so more 'Upfront' coming up


  6. Damn Nick - now that you've told everyone it is not my photo I'm gonna have to go change pics on all of my internet profiles.

    Just when guys were starting to like hairy again.

    Alan down in Florida

  7. hey alan

    we can't keep our fabulously sexy bodies a secret any more - we have to cum out, physically

    and it's insincere not to

    now as there is only one picture, we'll have to confess we are twins - okay? it's fine with me

    and we are hairy, don't you remember? like gorillas - more so in fact

    i'm just about to pound my fists on my chest and make those noises (or was that Tarzan?)

    nick in sydney

  8. I don't know if we could get away with twins. Laurel & Hard(l)y maybe.

    Alan down in Florida

  9. hey alan

    i'm shocked by your lack of fantasy on this one!


    thank goodness i didn't go into overdrive - you know siamese triplets - you, me and our buddy chris

    with that thick firm ... cord joining each to the others

    less caffeine?