Not Sweating the Small Stuff

E M Forster (1879-1970) - Triumph over The Self

There are few people who really influence your life and in major ways.

For me, E M Forster was one, and perhaps the most important.

And I acknowledge this to myself each time I re-read one his novels or the P N Furness biography 'E M Forster: A Life' or 'Selected Letters of E M Forster' edited with Mary Lago.

I think the real base of my deep deep admiration is that the author fought through, and overcame to a such great extent, extraordinary personal inadequacies. He was cripplingly shy, overly-sensitive to a degree that was pathological, and tyrannically dominated all his life by his mother Lily. The cloyingly prim and intellectually restricted middle-class Weybridge society of his childhood and youth, and being gay in the last part of the C19 didn't help matters.

What inspired/inspires me was Forster's ability to see outside his small self into a larger world and take the steps needed to make a bigger life than would ever have been expected.

A powerful intellect and Cambridge University helped.

Forster at the time of being a student at Cambridge University

But then and most importantly Forster enlarged himself and his outlook by traveling and working in Egypt and India.

Forster in Mahratta turban

Forster (5th from left) in the courtyard of the Palace of Dewas with the Maharaja (3rd from left) - Forster worked as the Maharaja's secretary

And by over-coming extreme reticence and apprehension when chance offers itself - as in his meeting with an Egyptian tram ticket collector in Alexandria - Mohammed el Adl. This (first real) sexual encounter developed into a relationship which bridged cultural and class barriers - without being patronising. And such was Forster's sense of personal loyalty that he kept in touch with and helped Mohammed till the Egyptian's early death.

Mohammed el Adl, Alexandria, Egypt

I sometimes wonder how my own life would have been if I hadn't encounter E M Forster. And determined to embrace opportunities thrown up by chance and make larger things happen.

I probably wouldn't have delayed going to university to travel through Europe, the Middle East and Asia for an extraordinary 4 years.

Or gone to live and work in China for a year at Beda (Beijing University). And broadcast on CCTV.

Or unexpectedly extended our month traveling in 2003 to nearly seven.

Or ... or ... or ... .

What an absolutely wonderful legacy - just for one person!

Have you guys had any 'guiding forces' in your lives?