Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Ten Not-So-Appalling One-Liners

1. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

2. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

3. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

4. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

5. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

6. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

7. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

8. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

9. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

10. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.

So which do you like best guys?

My favorites five are - 2, 4, 7, 8 and 10.


  1. Number 7 is the best!!! LOL

  2. Number 3 is a great one! I linked to your blog on mine at www.partywithbrandon.com, this is great! THANKS!

  3. Hi there Nick, long time no ..er..comments.

    10! By a wide margin. And yes I definitely should have listened to my mother. If I'm intoxicated (I am as of this minute but with caffeine so not sure if it counts - make that "it does!") 3 is OK and if I am feeling mad at any right wing arsehole 2 is superb ;)



  4. LOL
    Definitely #8 !!!!
    Thanks Nick for the laughs!

  5. hey peter - yep, too long

    saved the best till last! i never listened to mine - and i'm not sure whether the outcome has been good, bad or didn't-matter!

    the post was titled in a considered way - so none really blew my socks off - or anything else. will attempt to do better in future!

    many many hugs - i'll be in touch sooner