Monday, February 11, 2008

A Dose of Levity

Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia

Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His boyfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The Kiwi says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

Just a Great Joke

A young man moved into a new apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, a hot slightly older guy came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The guy smiled at the young man and started a conversation with him. As they talked, his robe slipped open, and it was obvious that he had nothing else on.

The young man broke into a sweat and tried to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, the older guy placed his hand on the young man's arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, ... I hear someone coming.'

The young man followed him into his apartment. The older guy closed the door and leaned against it, allowing the robe to fall off completely. Now nude, he asked, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, the young guy finally squeaked 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded and a little hurt, the older guy said 'My ears? Look at these pecs; they are pumped and firm. I work out every day and my butt is real solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming ... that was me!


  1. I gotta say I loved that second one.

  2. Loved both. Hey, can I help it if the first one hits nearer home (past home..heh)? Just gives it that extra...erm.. is "twang" an actual word? If not I can live with "spice", "twist", "bittersweet-mostly-sweet-payback"

    Must confess second one I didn't "hear" that punchline ..coming? So I had a more uproarious response to it.

    Thanks, take care, write on. I missed these recent more-than-a-couple of days of not posting almost more than your summer (OK, it was summer here) hiatus. I completely understood the why and how and fantasised about the who with back then. This time I just had sheer "Saudade" - or as the great Cesária would put it "Sôdade". I'm sure you know what it means (you'd better, as I'm told there's no translation into English)

    HUGS!!! Can't live without you(r blog)!

  3. hey antipodeanpt. i didn't see the second one coming either - there was that moment of ... 'and?' immediately followed by snorts and other unmanly noises, till i settled down to some common and garden variety laughing. it's a boomerang thing - the 'twist' in the first one. actually, i missed posting - think it's an actual physical addiction thing now! hugs back my friend.

  4. hey rick, thanks. need a bit of break from sex - only a break, mind you!

  5. The first one is a more imaginative dressing-up of a very old American vaudeville joke: Guy walks into a bar with a duck under his arm, and the bartender says, "Who's that pig you're with?" The guy says, "That's not a pig--that's a duck!" And the bartender says, "I was talking to the duck!"

    It's more fun, though, with the Kiwi boyfriends. (I've had a Kiwi boyfriend or two myself!)

  6. hey keith, i adapted too - more fun to make a joke your own. it started life as a straight joke but is much more powerful to me/us when gayed up