Saturday, November 18, 2006

Transformations: Saturday Night - Monday Morning

I've always been aware of the degree gay guys can shift round their persona and image.

The guy you know at ya local grotty sex-on-premises establishment (perhaps 'Headquarters' or 'Signal' in Sydney, or 'Keller Klub' or 'L'Impact' in Paris) as a rough horny trade dude - beery and smokey breath, stale smelling crotch, musky armpits, unwashed sweaty feet ... maybe even cum on his breath from the last guy he's just blown (fill in your own fantasy here!). Who you wanna turn round and shove up hard against the wall. Spread his legs apart, more. And work ya cock up his lubed-up and waiting hole. As you bite hard into his thick muscled neck. And ya feel more of his hairy legs as his jeans slowly fall down round his ankles. The warmth of his big furry buns is ya crotch. ... .

And then you bump into him unexpectedly in some work or social situation and, through some strange inexplicable process, he has transmutted into 'a well-mannered suit', with the personna of an elegant pink jelly-fish in Armani and Armani. The process is a bit like medieval alchemy - but turning gold into lead. He talks about the delicacies and intricases of his office politics. And then, inevitably, about the latest renovations at home - the ingenious ideas he's had using the space in the attic as a storage room ... or, if he's not quite so 'jellyfish', as a 'playroom'! You hope he won't tell you about the sling, as though it's never flashed across anyone's radar ever before. And usually with a conspiratorial wink. You don't talk about this kinda stuff - you just do it. You are uncertain - can you say 'let's get away from all this bullshit and fuck' or would that get you a startled reaction? And 'I sorry, I really don't think that's very appropriate'.

Sometimes, the jelly-fish is still plainly visible in the rough horny trade dude, like the first picture of the set of guy above. And then there are guys where the transformation is more convincing or real - and you think 'There is hope':

But, worst of all, there are those where it is all about 'fashion':

Now what's this all mean? I reckon most people try to resolve these seeming contradictions (and lots of others), when it seems much better to see them as just different even opposing aspects of a single but multiglot self. To be explored rather than sorted out in a 'I'm trying to discover my real myself' way. As though there is one single essential self. And think of it - you get more for your money this way!


  1. Duplicitous life is way too complicated.

    However, I am sometimes different for the adventures they bring.....

  2. hi paul! yeah, that's it - you must be straight about yourself, but also be true to the different aspects. chat again soon. nick