Not Sweating the Small Stuff

What You'd Do for Love

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 Years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. The convict gets back into bed, handcuffs the wife to the bedposts, gets on top of her and begins kissing her on the neck. Then he gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers to his wife "Listen, this guy must be an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain - just do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife replies: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering In my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong. I love you, too!"